Copilarie (III)

Am mai scris de doua ori in trecut niste faze din copilaria mea. Astazi, la munca, si-au amintit colegii intamplari din copilarie si bineinteles ca nu se putea sa nu-mi amintesc si eu, asa ca o sa le pun si aici.

Eu prin copou

Cred ca aveam vreo 10 ani cand, intr-o zi de vara, am fost cu baietii pe camp sa jucam un fotbal, o chestie din programul nostru cotidian. La marginea campului, niste romani “intreprinzatori” isi incropisera niste gradini unde cultivau cartofi, rosii, morcov si alte verdeturi. Cum alergasem noi vreo doua ore dupa mingea de 35 la fotbal, ne cam luase foamea, iar pana acasa ne era lene sa ne ducem, asa ca ne-am facut si noi intreprinzatori si am facut pe loc o echipa de interventie, adica de hoti. Ne-am dus patru din noi spre gradina cu pricina, l-am pus pe unul mai vitezist sa stea de sase – in caz ca vedea ceva suspect ar fi scapat repede si ne-ar fi dat semnalul, iar noi am sarit gardul cu gandul sa smulgem cativa morcovi ca sa-i rontaim mai tarziu. In timp ce noi ne ocupam cu recoltatul legumei radacinoase cu pricina, ne-am trezit deodata cu “apropitarul” intre noi, insfacandu-ne pe toti trei de tricouri. Am ramas blocati, nu stiam ce sa credem si ce sa facem. A inceput sa racneasca la noi ca suntem niste golani si derbedei si ca ne duce la militie (da, tot inainte de ’89 se intampla). Intre timp nu stiam ce se intamplase cu cel care trebuia sa ne anunte daca venea cineva, iar cand am iesit din gradina, tinuti cu forta de incheieturile mainilor, am constatat ca el nu era prin zona, iar tipul care ne-a prins s-a enervat brusc si a inceput sa tipe iar la noi “bine ca v-ati pus si paznic… pacat ca a fost prea prost si l-am prins repede, dar se pare ca a scapat destul de usor…”

Am aflat putin mai tarziu ca prietenul nostru fusese luat prin surprindere de catre omul nostru gradinar si fusese legat cu o sarma de gard, sub amenintarea ca daca scoate o vorba ajunge direct la militie. De aia nu ne-a mai dat noua nici un semnal. Cum-necum, a reusit sa scape din sarma aia si a taiat-o direct spre casa, iar in fata blocului, abia tragandu-si sufletul, a povestit totul copiilor de la bloc, neuitand sa precizeze ca gradinarul ne va duce pe toti la militie. Vorba a circulat repede prin vecini si a ajuns si la urechile tatalui meu, care s-a imbracat rapid si s-a dus pana la sectia de militie din gara, care era cea mai aproape. Acolo n-a gasit pe nimeni si s-a intors acasa destul de sucarit, asteptandu-ma sa vin cu o explicatie.

Intre timp, “gradinarul” ne-a dat drumul cu cate un sut in fund si cu amenintarea ca data viitoare nu mai scapam asa usor. Destul de linistiti, am luat-o spre casa, iar cand am ajuns la bloc am fost luati la intrebari de catre toti prietenii. Eu nu-mi terminasem povestea cand a iesit taica-meu la balcon si a ordonat “Radu, sus imediat!!!” Am ajuns sus si i-am povestit tot ce s-a intamplat, moment in care am primit o palma serioasa la popou si sfatul urmator: “Daca mai aud vreodata in aceeasi propozitie numele tau si cuvantul militie, nu mai scapi usor din mainile mele…” Va dati seama ca a fost ultima oara cand mi-a fost foame pe camp si ca nu s-a mai intamplat vreodata ca eu sa am probleme cu “militia”….

Viaţa în frig

Că tot am trecut prin iarna asta, iar zilele trecute povesteam cu un coleg faze din timpul copilăriei, am zis să împart experienţele mele şi cu alţii…

Pe când eram eu puştan, până pe la 11-12 ani, iernile ca cea de anul ăsta erau ceva normal. Eram în culmea fericirii când mă uitam de la geam şi vedeam zăpada crescând centimetru cu centimetru. Mersul la şcoală era o bucurie. Ne bulgăream până ajungeam în clasă uzi leoarcă şi apoi ne înfierbântam şi eram roşii în obraji.

Eu cu sora-mea

Tot din vremurile alea am şi amintiri mai puţin plăcute, posibile datorită măreţului regim comunist. Iarna venea automat cu frig, iar căldura în calorifere cam lipsea. Florile de gheaţă erau nelipsite la geamuri. Aşa se face că majoritatea familiilor aveau sobe în casă. Cei mai bănoşi aveau sobe de teracotă, cei mai puţin avuţi aveau sobe de fontă cumpărate de prin magazine din lanţul “Gospodarul”. Bineînţeles că erau şi foarte mulţi care nu-şi puteau permite nici un fel de sobă. Noi – familia mea – eram în a doua categorie, cu sobă de fontă. O pusese taică-meu în camera noastră, a copiilor, şi lăsam toate uşile deschise în casă – înafară de cea de la sufragerie, unde era ca în peşteră – să se încălzească. Când era chiar foarte frig, ne adunam cu toţii şi dormeam în aceeaşi cameră, cu câte două plapume peste noi şi înghesuiţi în acelaşi pat. Dimineaţa era coşmar să te speli pe dinţi şi pe faţă, dar de cele mai multe ori ne descurcam cu apa pusă în sticle de lapte lângă sobă. Ştiu că de multe ori ramâneam fără lemne sau cărbuni, şi alea luate “pe sub mână” prin diverse pile, iar atunci trebuia să rezistăm cum puteam. De obicei stăteam cât mai mult prin bucătărie, că era spaţiul mai mic si se încălzea mai repede. Acolo mâncam, acolo ne făceam temele, acolo se discuta “politica” şi încercam să trecem mai departe peste probleme.

Sobele veneau şi ele cu problemele lor. Trebuia să ai grijă sa ia aer cât mai bine, ca să ardă focul cum trebuie. Pentru asta, aproape în fiecare seară, taică-meu ieşea pe geam şi îndrepta burlanul in poziţia cea mai bună. Apoi era problema cand se înfundau coturile burlanului şi trebuiau curăţate. Îmi pare rău că nu am nişte poze din perioada aia, dar îmi amintesc destul de bine cum arătau blocurile cu burlanele ieşind pe la geamuri aproape la fiecare apartament. Se asortau perfect cu zecile de antene de pe blocuri, cu care prindeam doar TVR-ul.

Lipsa de căldură se completa foarte frumos şi cu lipsa de apă caldă. Maică-mea punea câte un cazan de apă pe sobă şi, când era gata, ne spălam pe rând într-un lighean în camera unde era soba. Era mare tevatură…

Şi dacă asta nu era de ajuns, băieţii buni ne întrerupeau şi curentul electric în fiecare seară pentru câte două ore. Pentru noi, copiii, erau momente destul de plăcute, pentru că de obicei ne apucam şi jucam Scrabble cu părinţii – placa de joc şi piesele erau făcute de taică-meu, în casă, dintr-o placă de plexiglas. Apoi se făcea ora 20:00 şi venea curentul, numai bine să pornim televizorul şi să vedem pe ‘nea Nicu cum se lăuda cu realizările partidului. La televizor, stăteam iar înghesuiţi cu toţii pe canapeaua din sufragerie, înveliţi cu pături şi cu hainele cele mai groase pe noi.

Şi când mă gândesc că încă mai sunt oameni care regretă “epoca de aur”… N-o să înţeleg niciodată chestia asta.

Copilarie (II)

Broastele (umflate sau nu)
La bloc aveam tot felul de zapaciti, printre care doi care nu se scarbeau la insecte si la broaste, ca majoritatea. Primul era Tiganu, un mare nebunatic caruia ii placea sa chinuie animalele. Asa se face ca intr-o zi, cand am mers pe un camp aproape de zona unde stateam, i-a venit ideea sa ne arate cum se umfla broastele. Noi, curiosi, am acceptat invitatia. Primul pas, prinsul broastelor, a fost mai greu, dar nu atat de complicat precum ati crede. Tiganu era meserias la asa ceva. In scurt timp aveam 2-3 broaste numai bune pentru “operatie” si paiele de rigoare… Si totul incepe: se baga paiul in fundul broastei, care incepe sa se zbata, se duce paiul la gura si incepe sa se sufle pana broastei i se umfla burta, dupa care se da drumul in apa, spre distractia unor baieti nebuni de 12-13 ani.
Sa nu credeti ca asta intra in rutina noastra. Nu, asta se intampla doar o data pe an, cand erau broastele in calduri si le gaseam peste tot… Dar intr-un an a fost o faza super tare cu Zgăbete (Gabi il chema), care s-a apucat sa umfle o broasca in scara blocului. Ghinionul lui a fost ca in timp ce se ocupa de operatiune, a aparut taica-su din senin chiar in fata lui. L-a luat frumusel de urechi si a mers in spatele blocului, unde avea motocicleta. A scos pompa de la motocicleta, i-a dat pantalonii lui Zgăbete jos si i-a bagat furtunul in fund spunandu-i “Ce-ar fi sa te umflu si eu pe tine asa cum umflai tu broasca aia???” Presupun ca nu trebuie sa mai spun ca tipul era plin de lacrimi si rosu de rusine in fata tuturor pustanilor de la bloc…
Dar sa revenim putin la Tiganu, care a avut o idee stralucita (cel putin asa ni se parea noua la momentul ala). Am mers din nou pe camp, inarmati cu cutii de ness Amigo (ce vremuri!) si cu cateva cutii de chibrituri. Cum, nu va prindeti de ce? Pai e simplu: am vanat cateva zeci de broaste, le-am pus in cutiile de ness cu putina apa din baltile din jur si… le-am fiert!!! De vii! Si ne distram. Acum cand ma gandesc mi se face o mila cumplita… Si asta nu e totul. Dupa ce le-am fiert, saracele de ele, le-am insirat pe niste sarme si le-am dus la bloc si am speriat fetele cu ele. De data asta Zgabete a avut noroc, nu l-a mai prins taica-su, ca cine stie ce iesea!

Copilarie (prima parte)

Citeam zilele astea un articol despre o tipa din state care si-a lasat copilul de 9 ani singur in metroul din New York. Lucrul asta e ceva iesit din comun pe acolo si chiar si pe la noi in ultima vreme. Pentru mine, insa, era ceva normal ca la 9 ani sa ma plimb singur pe strada si sa fac ce vreau. Poate ca doar pentru ca eram intr-un oras mic, poate din cauza vremurilor, nu stiu, clar e ca eram liber. Dar nu despre asta e vorba. Povestea tipei m-a facut sa-mi amintesc diverse faze din copilarie si povestindu-i-le lui Alex m-am hotarat sa fac o arhiva aici pe blog. N-o sa fie in ordine cronologica, ci dupa cum imi pica fisa si cum imi amintesc de ele.

Muntele
Unul dintre momentele pe care mi le amintesc cel mai bine a fost cand taica-meu, venind de la munca, i-a intrebat pe copiii de la bloc daca stiu unde sunt eu. Raspunsul l-a lasat perplex: “la munte, cu baietii”. Intrat in panica, nici nu a mai cerut alte detalii de la ei, ci s-a dus direct spre gara sa ma caute. A umblat jumatate de ora prin gara si autogara intreband in stanga si in dreapta daca cineva a vazut un grup de copii urcand in tren sau autocar. Nimic. Nefiind insa convins de spusele alora de la bloc, nu a incercat si la militie (da, era pe timpul comunismului) si s-a intors acasa sperand ca o sa apar. Ceea ce s-a si intamplat destul de repede. Eu am venit senin si inocent in casa cerand mancare, moment in care taica-meu m-a luat la intrebari despre “munte”. Povestea mea l-a facut sa-i treaca orice suparare. “La munte” era un loc in Vaslui, un deal abrupt pe unde ne cataram si ne jucam. Chiar o data era sa-mi “rup gatul” pe acolo, dar nu ma spuneti lui tata!

La strand
Ca orice pustan de 12-13 ani, ma tenta si pe mine foarte mult sa merg cu baietii la strand. Era prin ’90, cred, intr-o zi caaaalda, chiar inainte cu o zi de a pleca intr-o tabara. Maica-mea imi cumparase niste adidasi noi, din piele (ce stiti voi!!). Baietii de la bloc “Hai la strand”, eu “nu stiu daca ma lasa maica-mea”. Dar ideile veneau repede pe atunci, mai ales daca eram mai multi. Ma duc sus in casa si o rog pe maica-mea sa-mi dea si mie 5 lei sa ma duc cu baietii “la video, ca e un film misto, cu karate”. Nu a fost nici o problema sa mi-i dea si am plecat in fuga, prin spatele blocului, spre strand. Pe drum ne-am promis ca nu stam mai mult de doua ore, sa nu bata la ochi ca suntem cine stie unde. Long story short… La jumatate de ora de cand am ajuns la strand si ne-am balacit, iesind din apa sa ne mai bronzam, am ramas masca: adidasii mei nu mai erau langa lucrurile noastre. Fuga repede la portar sa-i explic. Ma trimite cu un tip si incepem sa-i cautam peste tot. Toata chestia a durat peste jumatate de ora, dar adidasii nu erau de gasit (bineinteles). Pana la urma toata lumea s-a plictisit de cautat (inclusiv eu) si am plecat cu coada intre picioare de la strand… dar nu spre casa, ca imi era frica sa nu o iau de la taica-meu. Asa ca m-am indreptat spre bunicii mei cu speranta ca o sa-mi aline ei lacrimile de crocodil pe care le aveam si ca o sa-mi gasesc vreo pereche de sandale uitate pe la ei. Am mers cu picioarele goale pana la ei si – MARE SURPRIZA – nu erau acasa. Uitasem complet ca erau plecati in concediu la niste rude. Si pune-te Radu pe plans in fata scarii bunicilor. La ceva vreme dupa ce m-am deshidratat prin ochi, un vecin de-al bunicilor a aparut si m-a salvat cu o pereche de slapi. De suparat ce eram si de foame ce aveam nici nu am mai urcat in autobuz, ci m-am dus pe jos pana acasa (40 de minute sunt mult pentru un copil) si am mai stat jumatate de ora in scara blocului, plangand iar, cu sora-mea rugandu-se de mine sa mergem sus ca nu se intampla nimic. Pana la urma mi-am luat inima in dinti si m-am dus sus. Din fericire parintii au fost intelegatori si am scapat cu o mustrare. Si va jur ca din ziua aia n-am mai fost la strandul ala jegos din Vaslui…

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